In loving memory of my beloved wife

It was the Chinese Spring Festival again or commonly known as Chinese New Year. It marked the arrival of the year of Ox. I started of the Ox year with another greatest shock of all.

The new year break did not seem to be a different days of all. Normally, the break also meant "resting and sleeping" occasions for me. I usually try to "hide" from the crowd of the new year break. It was the same for this year with only different of I was inside my room.

So, I pray to GOD for granting me an angel, who will be my real guardian. or may be my angel is looking from above with tears...

"It's easier to believe
In this sweet madness
Oh this glorious sadness
That brings me to my knees
In the arms of the angel
Fly away from here"

In the arms of the angel, fly away from here..

With a recommendation of a friend, I had brought the elder to a music school, accessing if he would be interested to have some times to be invested to musical learning. He was indeed nervous as this was the first session of an introduction. I could see him excited but really nervous.

I believed because of the influence of the passionate music tutor, he committed to start learning. I never learn music but I believed with the elder involvement, I would need to pick up some so as to accompany him as a continuous inspiring factor.

I also remembered you once commented wanted to have them to learn music and I hope you will be with the elder whenever he has his practise.

On last Friday night, at entering the house, my phone rang. Apparently it was a call to invite me for a drink at a local bar. HOUZ as the name of the bar. I said ok as I had nothing to do at home. And so I drove to the bar. On the way, there was a police road block and in my heart I said there was nothing wrong with my car and myself.

Nevertheless, the police blocked me and informed me I indeed had an expired roadtax. WTF? I forgot the car insurance and road tax expired on 1/1/2009 and I had been driving it without any coverage of insurance! This was really the first absent minded event for myself! How could I really forgot such simple task, i.e. to renew the road tax and insurance.

On this night also, I marked my birthday to the calendar of the iphone so as to remind my birthday. I also started to list down all the important day of event of myself and family. After all, I am the only only to remind myself now.

I had a minor car accident and I believed you knew the reason. I will need to beg your pardon on this. There was nothing wrong except I got too emotional. Only the car suffered but not me.

The start of new year does not seem to have any changes to me yet. I had some ambitions set and will push forward for them.

I also would like to have a full medical check after the Chinese New Year, perhaps sometimes in February. I will pray for nothing mentally or physically wrong as well.

Today is the new start of the year 2009. I had not been sleeping well on the eve of the new year. It was not due to any reason, but I was indeed disturbed by some matters which played in my heart and mind.

The eve also marked the last day of myself on this sorrow year. I wish I will be able to have face-off to begin the new year. I still remember the event and you. But instead, I would want this to be as an episode of my life which I will never forget but remain as my sweetest memory to have met you and married you. I remember!

The eve, I also "thick-skin" enough to have a "free" dinner on a frined of mine, with whose son 's birthday on the new year. I was also drunk some wine so it may help me to have some better sleep at night of the eve. Nevertheless, the wine never did the task. I was not going out anywhere on the eve after the dinner but to strict home and rest on bed. I could hear the fireworks even from my room and it marked the arrival of the new year. Will I be able to start the new year with a new hope? I do not know!

Haven't been able to sleep for the night, I woke up to have the morning walk for half an hour but having the iphone with Kenny-G together. After the walk, I would require to be at the phone booth as today also marked the opening day for the phone booth in a local mall. There were plentiful of people and the mall was kind of a busy haven, but my heart was not really on the phone business today eventhought it was a really important day for the business. I felt something missing and this really bother me.

I did not visit you today on this new year. Would you angry with me? But I believed you will understand as I had mentioned to you. Dear, do you?