In loving memory of my beloved wife

It was today that I needed to go for the scheduled medical checkup. This is a check up which I had since delay for years. The last check up could be the one I did while I was still in State sometimes in 2004 due to complaints of chest pain. The check up found nothing wrong with my heart and body health. Since then, I had been ignoring any signature from my body complaints.
Today I woke up at 7am forgetting that it was also the day for school re-open after the two weeks holiday. I rushed the elder to the school and seeing the pupils queuing up for assembly and thanks god, the elder did not late for school on the first day after the break. I felt so sorry for the kid. Absent minded and forgetful thoughts started enrolling to my age. I would not know when will be more ahead. After dropping the younger to the nursery, I arrived to the hospital at 8.30am sharp. Then after was a series of checking...
First I observed my left eye could not make out clear characters making it at 6/7.5. I knew of this issue ever since I returned from State. It always with me since then and expert claimed it is due to retina detachment probably due to stress. I really did not bother this too much unless I was really stressing myself or else I would feel this slight eyes sight imperfection. Right eyes as expected recorded 6/6 as this is my dominant eye. Thanks and I will still need to depend on you.
Somehow, I believed I had some weight gain to 63kg... I never like myself to be over 60kg and I believed the return to above 60kg is really due to multiple suppers and heavy dinner for a month or two. I did not really want to have this weight as deep inside my heart, I always believed that it was a wrong doing for myself to have weight gain with my dear wife away. I felt sorry for this as if I "celebrate" the loss with "living happily"...It is only a thought of myself.
I always suspect myself would fail high blood pressure and cholesterol. This is due to the heavy heart beats and chest discomfort whenever I am in emotion or anger. I always reminded myself to let go this extreme emotion but still have no success yet. I will need to remind myself. The blood test really confirmed my worry that I have rather bad level of cholesterol in which may subscribe medication if no improvement within 6 - 8 weeks. I always knew I will fail cholesterol but never to my expectation that it is so bad now. You would have angry with me if I could hear your murmur. I really do not know what does it mean by LDL-cholesterol 4.33mmol/L (optimal 2.58) but the doctor went on warning me that the total cholesterol is at the borderline of high risk level of 6.2. I would need to subscribe to medication should there isn't improvement and requested for another follow up. OK! OK! I hear you now and will definitely control my diet and sport regularly. Having known this medical report, it will also indicated that I will bid farewell to some and most of my favorite foods...for at least some times or till a date the level of cholesterol drop to acceptable level. I really wish I could achieve this within 6 - 8 weeks.
There is at least some relief to me as I was diagnosed without high blood pressure. Dietary control...ok I will comply and abide soon.