In loving memory of my beloved wife

This is the table which the kids use for homework and ground for toys display. Last night the little picked up some of his pokemons collection to display on the table. I captured this image while I spotted them when I was tidying the room.
Today is your big day and the kids greeted you for a very good morning. I will bring them to have a visit to you during this weekend.
Perhaps this weekend as well I will go down to Kampar for a visit to my parents. It was also last night that sis called to inform that mother has diagnosed with early stage of diabetes. She also informed that mother crying because of know this news. I accepted this news but made a call to comfort my mother. I reminded her to follow doctor's direction and has control of diet. After I believed it is better to diagnose the sickness in early stage. I even reminded her that there is nothing to worry about but to help me take care of the kids during weekend as the kids always wanted to be at the grand parents' home.
I will see you today.

There will be another one day before it is your "birthday". The old chinese tradition somehow restricts any kind of grand prayer session for that day instead of the day of departure. I believed I will not bother such restriction but will be visiting you again.
There has been at least three weeks I did not visit you. It is that because I do not go out for lunch but would rather stay in for a short 1 hour rest. Like before, I took advantage of the lunch break to see you.
This week, I will visit you on Thursday instead. I will be driving your re-instated car. After much repairing and painting, the car has been re-instated almost exactly like before. I owed sis for taking the times to help running here and there for the repair and it finally done before the date. I will be driving this car at least for sometimes. Everything will not be changed, the car, the memory and the fact... I still miss you and you are always on my mind, Sooking.
Btw, your mother claimed you have visited her and if yes, please have some visit to your dad too. We just have a dinner together last week and they had really grew elder now. I will surely have some irregular visit to them during weekend. After all, the kids like to play at their home as there are two cousins brother to join in for the kids-play.

The elder one informed me two news. He said, there was one bad news and one good news. Which one did I perfer to listen first. I chose the bad one. He then handed me the test paper results. One shown 76 while the other shown 100.
This was what he meant about the good news and bad news.
I do not remember if this was the first time that he scored 100, but I certainly greet him to do better in coming tests.
Well done, kid!

I could still remembered that at the beginning of the new year and I had some confession and missions to fulfill. Without knowing times really fly, it is after 6 months and now it is the month of July. I do not know if I had how many percent of accomplishment but I bet the goal still far reaching...I just keep delaying the schedule.
At the midth of the year, it is also the blue of the year as at this month or next, it will be the month of appraisal. It is also a month that to mark the working contribution. I had some 10 engineers reporting to me and yet it would be always difficult for me to have the ranking and rating. What is more important is that I myself will be rated. I have been in the jobs for 4.5 years and I am everyday losing bits and bits interest and motivation with the repeated problems and fire fighting. I really do not foreseeing myself with knowledge enhancing nor skill upgrade except that i am getting better in bullshitting and politic.
Today, I had a strange question came to my mind.... "Light travels the fastest as what known to human now, but what is the photon going so fast for and where did it end after it travels..."
I am in period... and I hope to find new way soon....

I bought a car for you in 2005 upon returned. Although it was a small car but it was a good build car without issue. I believed this car is also so rare locally. I always see this car like seeing you as I could remember we spend a number of times travelling inside.
My heart started sinking when there are news after news that the car is being damaged and spoiled repeatedly. So much so that it was being mentioned as bringing bad luck to the driver.
Last month, I decided to reclaim the car with decision to modify the car and re-paint the car to a new look. Before I could get this accomplished so as to show you during your "birthday", I was again notified that the car was being mis-treated. To my greatest despair that today I was notified that all 4 tyres were being delibrately flattened. Knowing this really almost push me to the desperate cliff and I need to "salvage" and give a new birth to the car.
I am sorry for not taking care of your property. I will correct this.

Another day has gone
I'm still all alone
How could this be
You're not here with me
You never said goodbye
Someone tell me why
Did you have to go
And leave my world so cold

Everyday I sit and ask myself
How did love slip away
Something whispers in my ear and says
That you are not alone
For I am here with you
Though you're far away
I am here to stay

But you are not alone
For I am here with you
Though we're far apart
You're always in my heart
But you are not alone

Just the other night
I thought I heard you cry
Asking me to come
And hold you in my arms
I can hear your prayers
Your burdens I will bear
But first I need your hand
Then forever can begin

Everyday I sit and ask myself
How did love slip away
Something whispers in my ear and says
That you are not alone
For I am here with you
Though you're far away
I am here to stay

For you are not alone
For I am here with you
Though we're far apart
You're always in my heart
For you are not alone

Whisper three words and I'll come runnin'
And girl you know that I'll be there
I'll be there

You are not alone
For I am here with you
Though you're far away
I am here to stay
For you are not alone
For I am here with you
Though we're far apart
You're always in my heart

For you are not alone
For I am here with you
Though you're far away
I am here to stay

For you are not alone
For I am here with you
Though we're far apart
You're always in my heart

For you are not alone...

Today while sat leaning to the wall, I observed an old man in white hairs carried an old desktop casing with another old woman quietly followed at back. It was an old ATX Pc and I believed the Pc must in faulty condition that require servicing. I also believed the Pc was meant for the kids. It was kind of tiring for the old man to carry the Pc. I suddenly realized father and mother will always carry out tasks for the younger. I felt touch on seeing this and I am on the way soon to see my dad for a dinner...

I used to drink the water directly from the tap when I was young. That was perhaps some 30+ years ago. I could still remember the water was so clear and fresh. But it wasn't the case for my kids to enjoy such luxury. We need filtration system now for every families. I used to install a 'Diamond' filtration system when I stayed in Penang. That was when my wife and the elder one moved to Penang in 2002. since then, I was never have my house installed with any filtration.
Tonight I installed almost every single tap with a ceramic filter to ensure we wash our faces with filtered water. I really afraid the kids faces would be clogged with mud due to prolong usages of un-filtered water. It was late at night when I completed the installation. I felt kind of achievement although the filtration costed me several hundred, but I believed the value of health is priceless.
I would avoid those commercially filtration system as I always believed the system are over priced and advertising with too much of unproven promises.
I would invest on the basic ceramic and carbon filter.

There are always fake or imitated phone around the market. These phones always imitated the hottest selling phone model. iPhone and nokia are always the preys for these imitators. Lately, there is a phone shop at Ipoh openly selling and marketing these type of phones. It was nothing wrong if the shop informs the prospective buyers, but it wasn't the case here as they claimed as original.
These are most irresponsible business I had ever seen.
Please be notified, shoppers. You have been warned. There is always no such thing as 'big frogs' on street for you to catch.

On Friday, I took a day off to accompany the kids to the nearby hot spring. It was approximate 80km away from Ipoh and we only started the journey late in the morning. We had our breakfast at Kampar at the bazzar. By the time we arrived, it was already 12 and thankfully that it wasn't too sunny and the kids immediately dived to the mountain spring pool. I would stand watching. They always enjoy water games. Half an hour later, I requested them to join me to the hotspring. But it was very disappointing that the hot spring was not well maintained. There were no water jet, no water flushing, but just remained as a 'die-still' pool. I only spent 10 minutes then we walked away to other treatment pool. But it was also gently disappointed. The water are either too muddy or there wasn't any fresh incoming hot spring water. We moved back to the mountain spring pool and the kids would be most delight to follow.
It was a great trip.

It is the last day of april and next will be the mother day within two weeks. It happens to me that I will feel loss in interest for my daily life in this period of time...partly could be that I wish to do for more stuffs but crippled with the limited cash;monotoneous working without new inspiration and return anticipation...I would hope I could come out of this down syndromn fast enough and rejoin the world. But I would also ask myself...what would really inspire me? A new car, a new house, a promotion or peaceful life,repeat same manner of no change life style or quit now to join anew environment and country?
I hope some wise man will advise me so...

Posted from milestone

My friend called informing me that he had bought an ipad. This was indeed one of the greatest news. Immediately I invited some other kaki to have a fancy gathering with all available gadgets. Everyone were bringing out their latest gadgets on hand for some fun. There were at least 4 Iphones, 1 Milestone, 1 X10, 2 Macbook etc. But the focus of night remained on the IPAD.