In loving memory of my beloved wife

At the end of the bath, I was stepping out from the bath tub and when my right foot stepped on the floor, I slipped. Thus I lost the balance with whole body hitting hard on to the floor. It was immediately acute pain at my spina and back. At the fall, there was still 1 - 2 seconds while I was almost on the fly (before hitting to the floor), my mind was really blank and thought of nothing but I could see the wash room ceiling and the next moment I regain my conscious, it was me moaning on the floor. I landed with my back and it was lucky that I did not have the head hit on to the toilet bowl or bath tub.

If I had hitted the back of my head to the toilet bowl or bath tub, I believed I would have been unconscious or see you at any time soon.

There are two things on my minds now...

1) I really need to have my will written down now

2) all the floor of the washroom must be coverred with those anti slippering mat

I still do not know if I suffer more severe damage due to the fall but I guess after a night of sleep, all the severity will emerge and I better get ready for it.

It is so fast... It is your "birthday" tomorrow. Last year, we did not manage to have the occasion celebrated as we were at the hospital and you did not like the idea of having any event inside the hospital. You were not fit for the occasion as well. I would rather we rest more as you could hardly sleep that time. I remembered I chased away the nurse who tried have the regular routine examination on you. You were half asleep and it was so difficult to have you rest.

This year, I went to have some flowers and prepared two cards for you. One will be from me and the one from the kids. And I was not feeling well with running nose and hopefully it will not be another incident of H1N1. I hope I will not infect the kids for flu. May be it was due to body fatigue and the flu, my emotional was rather disturbed and some memory of old events rush back, screening in front of me and all of these suddenly made my tears run down again. It was especially when the kids handed me their writing and drawing on the cards. I will bring the cards to you and I wish you will read them. Soo King, you will be forever in our mind and memory.

Happy Birthday and your wish to have the kids well taken care off will be granted and I promise you. They are my lovely kids and support. Oh ya, forget... I inherited a lot of gestures from you now... One being the way how I would hang the pants exactly like you and I believed it will be with me forever as I will hang the clothing under the sun everyday.. Ya, I need to wash the clothes everyday now. I hope you remembered there were times where we were hanging the clothes together as there were just so many of them; easily 30 - 50 pairs with 3/4 belong to the kids.

Yesterday, some inspiration to have a larger collection of Optimus Prime had urged me to drive to KL to buy-all-in-one-shot. There are seven of them, of which are old generation Prime which could be difficult to find now in shop. I reached home at 6.30pm and by the time I finished having them aligned, it was already 8pm. The kids were eyeing eagerly for the Prime but I warned them of touching but not "destroy" The kids are well known as destroyer.

I am still looking into other prime figures but will be more cautious for price then. After all, this is not a one-time-invest hobby.

Do you like the Prime?

I have opted to change the already worn out tyre and was advised to have regular wheel alignment and balancing for every 10k km. The car also require another service at its 40km milage. Both of these services are considered unexpected expenses but it is necessary to perform this service. The service center also inform me that it will be time to have the timing belt changed in the next service... my God! and the car also has a cracked windshield which is just pending to be shattered into piece. I hope it will be the last major service before year end.

Btw, the is something I wish to show you, the little one has managed to pedal the bicycle with the balancing wheels at two sides. He could ride fast now although still does not know how to apply the brakes. But he is enjoying his riding at every evening whenever he has the chance to cycle. He has grown up a lot, but getting more naughty and mischievous but I hope I will not spoil him.

I spent at least 2 hours in this painting and kind of like its used metal appearance and some battle damage signature. With this painting, I found another hobby --> repainting the transformers

Last night I was having a dinner and my friend suggested to have some casual street hawker delight and so we went to the "tong sui kai" but perhaps it was really too early, 80% of them were either not setup or closed. The traffic also was terrible as it was nearby to the Sam Tet primary school.

So, we tried to locate another stalls and I suggested the Hainan village chicken rice. But we decide not do so as it was dinner times and I only could observe 2 tables were occupied. My theory was that if the food are good, at this moment, the restaurant should have at least 80% full. And so, my friend suggested the nearby "Bentong fish ball" as it was supposed to be good and famous. There are around 8 tables occupied and only 2 of them were not yet served with food. There were at least 8 - 10 staffs around. For being first time to the shop, I walked to the food preparatory personnel trying to order our food and asking where was a bowl so I could pick. But I was told to be seated as their staffs would come and serve. OK OK! And so I sat there waiting. A middle aged short harsh voiced lady approached to take the order of drink. Fine, I order a drink. It was already 5 minutes and at the serve of the drink, the same lady asked me to pay and I was already furious and replied why there was no staffs to take my order as I only saw them gathered at the food preparatory area and there were at least 8 of them. The lady replied some one would come. I looked at her and she was waiting for my payment. I ignored and said "get the money from me when someone take my order" And so she left us alone. Immediately I saw her taking order from another customer and picking up the dishes. I watched and overheard that she yelled "I already take order of two tables...."

On hearing this and without hesitate, I asked my friend to leave the restaurant and did not look back. In this world now, you are not the only one who sell this type of food and you have nothing too great and why I will need to have my money to you while I was not honour as customer at all. What a shame! This is CHINESE stall. It is a shameful old style of operation. Good Luck to you. Another shop on my blacklist.

Last night, I had a chance of 1 hour break after dropping the elder to his music class. So I was windows shopping with my little one at a nearby mall. It is "The Store". It was a weekday and the time was approximate 8pm and so there was only a few shoppers. The entire store seem empty and quiet. We walked up to the third floor where it is the children and toy session. We stopped by the rack where there is a couple of "transformers" and "Gundam". There was already a guy, a rather tall and seem quite good looking guy there eyeing on Gundam. He took down the box and put it back. Walk away then come back. Repeated a few times. I was still at nearby, may be just 5 foot steps away. Suddenly I heard plastic bag wrapping sound, then I saw this guy picking up the plastic bag with a box of Gundam inside the bag and he walked away without looking back. While he was doing this act, he turned back to observe but he did not bother me who were at his front. It was as if I would not bother to report. I saw him walking to the escalator and descending to exit without paying a penny.

This was a shoplifting and it happened. It was just a simple trick and thus an item was stolen.

I mentioned this to the nearby keeper, but he also did not seem to be interested. I looked around but found no security guard. And so I left the mall wishing it good luck as it was so simple to shoplift items from it and its staffs do not bother.

What a shame to the shoplifter !

I repeatedly mentioned this incident to the kids reminding them do not shoplifting and I could buy them what they want. This incident also reminded me that I too fell in this trap before of shoplifting when I was young. But those would be for eraser, ruler etc. Worst case would be just changing a pricy price tag to a lower price tag. I still paid for the items. Haha...but this was still consider a crime and I did. I had paid off by then. This really remind me

It was another birthday for my mom. She is now turning to 66 and started to show some sight of aging. She has white hairs, wrinkles, joints pain, loss of memory and most importantly, she really old now as compare to my young memory of her. I always remember her younger appearance when I was in secondary school. She is a very dedicated woman and will never complaint for the kids although I always mischievous and disappointing her sometimes.

She will do anything for me and I know she cares for me the most, for being her youngest son. I knew it. I still remembered there was an incident of my mother queuing up at the bank to purchase a bank draft for her son. That was in 1991 when I just completed my STPM. I was indeed hoping to further my studies in Singapore since I knew I would not be getting in to the local U as I failed to acquire satisfactory results. It was really my most disappointing moment in my study life. I must confessed that (indeed only a few of my friends know this) I indeed thought of commit suicide as I had disappointed myself and my family. I did, it was a split second of thought. I did not remember what had made me to change this thought but I never did or so I would really disappointed my dearest mother.

She queued up for 2 hours and was riding to the bank with her bicycle and in the fact that, I could be the one doing so. But the shame of getting a poor results had made me embarrass to be out of the house. I was among the top student but I fell flat for the results...

I was really behaving strangely after the results. I did not talk to my family about how would I plan the studies nor my choice of studies. She was really worry but only to talk to one of my friend and since then I realized, I must not fail her again.

It was also at this time, with the accompany of SooKing bringing me back to the confidence of myself and moving forward to face the challenge of life so I will not disappoint the women of my life, Mother and Soo King.

To both of my dearest women, Thank you and I remembered all you have done for me, and I would not be myself as what as of now without your encouragement and support. I do remember and will always cherish. I must apologize for all wrong doings that pierced to your heart. I am sorry.

It was a bad influence from a good friend. He indeed motivated me towards joining him in the saga of transformers collection. But I would only interested on Optimus Prime and Bumble Bee. I have now 3 optimus prime, 1 bumble bee and 6 others. I am also have the 4 tiny petronas transformers set. (Bumble bee, Starscrew, Megatron and Optimus Prime) These are really meant for my kids so they will not disturb the bigger cousins.

This evening, I had also re-furnished the second living hall with a cabinet to host the Transformers. I hope I will able to find more of my likes and continue to pursue this collection. After all, they are really nice collection toys for memory.

There is a pot of "bird of paradise" which I have since early 2008. It only flowered once and it was the reason I bought it home. Since then, it never has any blossom and I was truly sad and trying all I could to bring it to flower. But it never did for more 15 months.

Amazingly, early this month, I could see it showing sight of blossom and it was almost like a miracle as it never did. Could it be the sight of paradise is accepting you or is this the sight you want me to remember you? I always remember this month is special for you. I do.

This week, the emotion drastically changed. I am easily upset and moody. I will fuss for a simple incident or item for hours and yet giving self heart-beating torture. It is because whenever I get angry, I am finding myself the sense of high blood pressure.

I had been nagging for sometimes since Tuesday and keep on complaining to a friend of mine. It was not really the problem of the person but I could not adjust or adapt myself to almost all situation. I am easily upset!

Today, I am making a fuss again as being FFK for some simple visit. I did not at all like the idea of FFK. Yet, the FFK was not informed to me till I checked up. I am really upset!

And alternatively I also felt terribly sorry for the kids as the little fell off the chair when he tried to climb up to the chair to off a light. The switch is way too high for him and the roller chair slipped thus he fell and cried. I was mad at this and punished them both. He cried even louder. After all, I was the one suffered as I was inspecting him when he asleep. It is simple to punish but the pains are really felt on me. Kids, please do not upset with me.

I am sorry but please help daddy for being good but not naughty.

I will again need to meditate to control my emotion.

My friend called me for the arrival of the "bumble bee" which I had waited for two weeks. After collected from his house and post the bath, I was already seated to prepare for the transformation...

It is at least 10 days I did not put a word on the blog here. Indeed I did capture quite a number of images and topics to share, but I just a bit too lazy to login to the blog but instead just resting on bed. It is sometime so relaxing just on bed without any thoughts and worry.

Ya, before I forget, I will still comment on some observations recently.

First, I started to see mushrooming of a red company. It was "SunRider". Everyone can start seeing it at almost every corner. Within a few hundred, one will see another outlet and another outlet. I do not know and do not care to know the nature of this company, but it is too many in the town making an eye sore. I will bet to "cut my head" if this company not going to be off the scene within 6 months. It may be doing good but without a good management to control the number to mushroom within doorsteps, customers will be confused and drive away. Good Luck. "SunRider", you just remind me the "KLG" or "MyFC"

Second...I started to feel life is so repetitive. Every week i am virtually and physically doing and repeating the same routine. It seems there is too much of routine schedule. And, I had stopped the morning sports. I get too tired after every trip fetching the elder to school. I would rather have another 30 minutes rest on bed. Then it will be followed by the routine preparation of the little one for his nursery then I reach the office for again non stop issues of yelling and arguing..May be I will need some juice to my life now. I try to ignite some sparks. OK OK I will

third, it is fast approaching to your birthday. This year, the lunar calendar and western calendar fall on the same day. I believed for this type of matching, it will happen once every 12 - 15 years. The last coincident took place in your 21 year old I believed. I may be having a trip to BM. I will need to "close" your wish made about 16 years ago at the St. Anne event. You have made it and I knew I will need to close it. I am also wanted to have a final wish to St. Anne so you have a peaceful life now and forever without any suffering of sadness and illness. I will want to close my wish to St. Anne. It was already almost 16 years I did not visit this event and I will go back for once and may be the last time.

July 26 will mark a closing chapter for your wish as we have been granted not one but twice gifts. The elder and little one are the greatest gift of all times. We will see you on this July 29th.