In loving memory of my beloved wife

Day 191 after the event

Voice of KM Chong Thursday, March 19, 2009 comments (0)

It was unexpected that I would need to have leaves on Tuesday and Wednesday instead of the planned Thursday and Friday.Nevertheless, the plan to have the kids to have a rest at Penang never changed. We indeed spent a night at Penang.

First changes I could see is the extension of penang bridge which is now soon taking shape. I can see the third lane at the side. Next, I see changes of Queen Bay Mall with more international branding outlets. I still remembered when we visited it at late 2005 when it was first open, it was still half empty and we only spend less than half an hour. We did never return to this mall again even you actually spent another year in Penang when I shifted to Ipoh.

The night at the hotel was never an easy one as I could not sleep at all. The bed was comfortable and soft but yet I just could not fall into dream. It has not been the first time as I started observing I could not sleep at hotel with the kids around. Perhaps I was worry about the safety of the hotel. I do not know.

The kids however were overjoy. They are really enjoy the shopping and fishes. I believed next stop i will bring them will be Genting Highland. We also quite often go to Genting although you did not like the casino. I still remembered the "golden phrase" you had... " once you lost this RM10, let get back to room and sleept" then we laughed and left the casino.

Day 184 after the event

Voice of KM Chong Thursday, March 12, 2009 comments (0)

On the way home this evening when passing by the famous Sam Tet primary school, i spotted a few of school buses picking the passengers. This is absolutely normal scene for Malaysian. But what made me sad was that, the pick up is not done at a road side or special bus stop, but instead directly on the road with the 3 feet or shorter pupils lined up to board on the bus while the busy vehicles are passing by just not more than half a feet away?

How could these bus operators have such type of attitude of "tak apa" as long as making money out of the passengers without any sense of safety. If these were the secondary students who can already take better care of themselves, although still risky, then i may curse the bus operators less...but these are not more than 10 years old pupils...

I will try passing by again tomorrow and take some images... This really require some attention of the relevant enforcement party. After all, human life should not be compromised. School bus operators, pls be more safety minded.

Day 182 after the event

Voice of KM Chong Tuesday, March 10, 2009 comments (0)

I will need to apologize... I am in love...

I am in love with Sony Vaio P. It is a micro laptop which weighted only around 650g and I can almost really hand carry it anywhere and everywhere.

The built of the machine is so nice except for a few spot of imperfection of gap at the LCD panel area. Else it is an almost perfect machine. Nevertheless, Sony has chosen a bad OS. the Vaio P is bundled with resources hungry Vista which make the laptop crawling while booting to the system. Once in the system, the vista still operating in acceptable manner although i really wish it can be faster.

I had tried Dell mini 9 prior to this change. The limitation of mini 9 was due to the cramped keyboard and some slimmed size key on the keyboard which constantly making me typed wrongly and palm aching after some extended typing. The Sony Vaio P has an almost full sized keyboard and making my typing most comfortable.

Althought it is really over priced but handling of it really offered me some sense of belonging and stylist feel... as while I was indeed walking with the vaio p on hand during shopping, there were girls spotted the laptop and exclaim with interests, although I did hope that they indeed impressed by me rather than the laptop...lol :)

OK, I declared again... I am in love.. in love of Sony Vaio P

Day 181 after the event

Voice of KM Chong Monday, March 9, 2009 comments (0)

180 days marked the 6 months departure by now. It was not a short period but neither a long duration. But the changes could be drastic and dramatic. Things changed, I changed...I changed from with dummy with a slimmer dummy(great :)) I changed with some noticeable white hairs(bad)

Indeed, we just returned from the KL trip and I spent quite crazily to buy stuffs... and most importantly I sold the existing bulky laptop and replaced with a micro laptop. And the crazy part was that the price of the mini laptop is double of the bulk lappy which is at least 3x more powerful...

The kids still ran around like before and they said they remembered the last trip with you. And they still did not change with always only wanted for a better class hotel but not those budget hotel. So i picked the RM3xx per night at Swiss Garden. But I was not at rest even at this priced hotel room. There seem to be some form of disturbance as I always 'afraid' of unwanted guest at hotel room. So eventually, i was half asleep the whole night. Nothing happen as I knew you will be around us as guardian.

I would be uploading images soon once i downloaded them to the new gadget laptop. In the meantime, please bear with me lo. My apology!

Day 176 after the event

Voice of KM Chong Wednesday, March 4, 2009 comments (0)

Today and tonight was really emotional. The inner feel was easily influenced. After the kids were aslept, it would be me again for my time. Entire time and space belongs to me now and it seems to be too much and too empty. I could not help but to be reminded that I am alone.

Some one actually in earlier commented that I do not need to be purposely recorded down the feeling for how much I would miss my late wife. It goes on commented as if to disguise showing my love with self protraiting myself to be the greatest husband of all.

Well, I did not write down my progressive feeling just to "show off" or use as a way to bait other girls into my love. Although I do not reject if I were given chance to have a date, but I am absolute sure of that I do not need to self protrait with great rommance through showing how much I would love my late wife. I am sorry for the person who commented this and if there was anything that I had done to result such comment, I would apologize openly and wish the person in peaceful mind. Please do not live on with hatre and stick on the sad memory.

Nowaday, I hate the feeling of driving alone especially at night.. It really reminded me for being alone.

Back to future of mobile phone test drive

Voice of KM Chong Monday, March 2, 2009 comments (0)

I believed I started to get back to my previous life. Back to the future with continuous test drive of the latest mobile phone... Is this a good sight?

I bought a samsung phone... I remembered at the moment you are in serious condition, I was also using a samsung phone... and now today I have a dual sim samsung phone. I do not know why I will ever need to have dual sim card phone as I do not have a great deal of people to call. Indeed I seldom call nowaday except for works.

Casual calls? who? noboday!

After 1 hour of the phone, i gave up. Yes it is an amazing touch screen phone, but the difficulty in navigate really drive me off. I am fast disposing it now.

Drawing of the little one

Voice of KM Chong comments (0)

The little one dropped these sketch drawing. He said he wanted to let you see them And so, I scanned in here. If possible, please tell the little one he has draw some great sketches and we like them so much.

I have him convinced that he will draw more for further keeping as a part of growing up memory.

Day 175 after the event

Voice of KM Chong comments (0)

Tonight seem to be quite disturbed with two incidents

1) I received a letter from Takaful. It offered a "caring" note of the loss

2) a credit card statement from C-Bank.

Incident 2 was the one really made me to become a furious man...

I had terminated the credit card ever since you departed with fax in of the relevant documents to declare of the unavailability. And yet after 6 month, the "beggar" still issuing a statement with an active account. When I called again tonight, these were parts of the conversions which was so fantastic to me (B - bank, k -me)

B : sir, may i know what fax number you fax in the doc?

k : how do i remember after 6 months

B : but you will need to tell me which number you use for me to check!

k : ok, then pls tell when yesterday at 6pm who did you call and what number? If you able to tell me this for your yesterday event, i locate the fax number from my machine. Can you tell me the number you call then?

B : i do not remember

k : so?

B : then pls fax in again

k : why do i need to do it again as i had done the faxing 6 months ago?

B : can you pls leave me your contact number?

k : do you like me so much or love my raising voice so much that you miss me and want to call me? can you give me your mobile number so i can call you to follow up?

B : the mobile number is personal to me

k : then my number also private to me

B : then how do we check up with you

k : what are you checking and need to call me. Just close the account and resolve it with the doc. why do u need to call me as I am not your client

B :...

I know I am being in anger, but i really cannot help as they are really so so follow protocol..

No wonder C-bank in capter 11. it is indeed no better than other like CIxx bank

Day 172 after the event

Voice of KM Chong Wednesday, February 25, 2009 comments (1)

Last week I added two new gadgets while thinking to dispose off the existing monster laptop which bought in Feb 2008. It was bought at the eve of the CNY and we also had some quarrel over some matter on the occasion of reunion meal. I said next time I do not want to be so late for the reunion gathering meal... and yes I got it as I will never be late as I will be alone.

I had bought a mini laptop so as to use it whenever outdoor for web surfing. I also added a new gaming gadget for kids. This time is the Nintendo Wii. But after a while, the kids lost the interests and prompted me to re-deploy it soon.

I also thought of renovating the room, the masterbed room. I would like to have a custom floor sitting extended table just at the side the bed. After all, this will be my new workstation.

Day 171 after the event

Voice of KM Chong Tuesday, February 24, 2009 comments (1)

I am getting more and more careless. While reversing the car, I did not aware that there was a tree remain (which could not be viewed from the rear mirror) at back and thus hitting it resulted the entire bumper being pulled down and dropped off.

If this happened at night time, I could have blamed myself for not seeing in dark. However, this took place at noon time while the sun was at zenith of my head. At last, I need to manual "hang" it to the car with its original bracket still in place. When I drove the car to the Nissan service center, I was informed that they did not provide mudguard service as they only know how to change filter and replenish lubricant. Else nothing more... WTF? a service center without the capability to service the car?

Finally, I did it myself with trying to align the bumper with its right bracket and I hope it can survive for a few more days before I can locate the right service guy.

Another key lessons of the day

1) Cannot assume. Thing that does not see or cannot see, it really does not mean no hidden danger

2) A service center does not provide full car maintenance service but only filter and lubricant change

3) Always need to be resourceful and smart for work around.

What a bad day for me. I am definitely looking forward to dose off the car now!

Day 170 after the event

Voice of KM Chong Monday, February 23, 2009 comments (0)

At the moment of writing this blog, I had not been slept for more than 28 hours. This is due to the continuous "team building" through the physical inventories count. It was indeed a fun and good event to locate the parts inside the main store, receiving etc.

Team work is really the matter of success in such cycle count.

After this, I would like to have a good hot shower and rest for a few hours before I pick up the kids as I had not been seeing them for more than 48 hours..

Political progress in Malaysia

Voice of KM Chong Tuesday, February 17, 2009 comments (0)

I am truly upset with the progress of the political in my beloved country. There is just scandal after scandal without any offer of help to the country economy. Personal attack and privacy intrusion is everywhere.

Where is Malaysia moving to be? I want stable politic and healthy growth of economy. Am i asking too much?

Day 164 after the event

Voice of KM Chong comments (0)

These two days were quite disturbed. Not only because of the un-welcome uncertainty progress of work, i was also somehow bothered by some bitter sour comments. I truly understood the comment objective and everyone deserve one's right to choose his/her choice of method to handle some memory, be it some happy sweet memory or bitter sad rememberance.

But there is something I learned, one can never live in hatre. If one live in hatre, then whatever once used to be sweet memory will gigantisize to unforgettable pins in heart as it always bother. When there is no more love or affinition, whatever once used to be the sweetest moment turned to be the haunted curse.

This is true. When there is love, even the fart is smelled as sweet. When the love is gone, even honey will be tasted as bitter vomitting favour.

Bottomline, is how you treat others and think of other, you will get the same reaction. No one wants to be challenged or intruded.

Rest in peace. Nobody owe you something and you do not owe anyone anything. It takes two to tango. I hope I will always remember this learning.

Day 162 after the event

Voice of KM Chong Sunday, February 15, 2009 comments (0)

2/14. Valentine day. It was a day crafted by business genius to seize profit by making full use of the event which suppose to mean for thoughts of the loved one. I can bet almost if not all business are grabbing this golden day for business. Restaurant and gifts & flower shops must be full of orders.

I did not buy you any flowers nor any gift when visiting you. I really hope you were not the same as of those who "greatly showing-off" with the gifts or flowers on their arms while walking meaninglessly inside the mall. I also could not remember if we did really celebrate any Valentine day. But every now and then, we were together without failure and I believed every moment of us together will be our valentine days.

At night, I had both kids as my accompany for the golden Valentine night. I informed the kids that tonight was Valentine nights and explain the meaning to them. And they gave me two rare questions which I choked on words to reply them... "why mommy is not with you?" "why you do not have a valentine?"

It took an extended moment to get us served with the orders although we were clever enough to dine at a normal "kopitiam". While waiting, the kids asked why there were so many dressed up girls and walking around. I followed their eyes and start observing... ya, there were quite a number of couples and the girls were "slightly" dressed up. It was a night for thoughts of the other half and I wish all couples will be granted with happiness and I wish the couples after tonight will understand more of the meaning of relationship and rommance. It was not meant as to show off with how exclusive the dinner was, how many flowers received, what gifts presented, what cars the guys are driving, how handsome is my boyfriend etc. Valentine means the thoughts of other half at any occasion.

I texted a few friends of mine and I was delighted as I was still manage to get responses.

After all, it was just another night without any special meaning without you around. But I will remember you have given me a special gift and I deeply know I was the one you fully in love. And I already have a great valentine. And she is you.

Thankyou my dear SooKing, my wife.

Day 161 after the event

Voice of KM Chong Friday, February 13, 2009 comments (0)

At the eve of Valentine, you "planned" a secret gift which delivered to me quietly. If I were given a choice, I would like you to be beside me instead of a gift.

I really appreciated your thoughts of me and our family.

I thought I had adapted and re-aligned without crying... After all, I am still crying. I miss you!

Day 158 after the event

Voice of KM Chong Tuesday, February 10, 2009 comments (0)

On the 15th of the Lunar calendar or the last day of the Chinese Spring Festival, I had a mistake of calling a friend. I did not aware of the time and thus shocking the person from sleep. I was then felt terribly sorry for waking up my friend. I was sorry for causing such trouble of awaking the person. I am sorry for the call and interruption.

At night, I was fortunately to have another friend accompany me with tea and chiness chess playing. It was indeed a relaxing night although disturb with some thoughts.

Day 155 after the event

Voice of KM Chong Saturday, February 7, 2009 comments (0)

This week, I finally managed to align back my life as to be before your departure. Although there is still loneliness and uncomfortable (due to no companionship) but I found myself had begun adapting to this new life. After all, the only difficulty is that I do not need to "report" and thinking of this will always make me blue as if I myself was deserted.

I used to drink a glass of wine or two now at night. And more importantly, I wish I can have myself focus and re-invent my ambition.

There has been so many "notes" to me that I had lost the previous "arrogant" of me.

Am I really arrogant?

Defection

Voice of KM Chong Friday, February 6, 2009 comments (0)

My dear, you were with me at the formation of new government in Perak state after the last election. And now not after a year later, a new government is to be formed with the different members who we had selected to be out of the state ruling agents.

This time around was

due to a-three not worth to be named highly purely politicians of personal gain defection. Due to this defection, the goverment shift hand and we, Perakian are under the same group of ruling agents again after we voted them out of the DUN.

Defections are everwhere!

Today is a sad day as the plot used only tell us one thing. Personal gain is on top of every other mean

Democracy, rest in peace!

Birthday

Voice of KM Chong Tuesday, February 3, 2009 comments (0)

It was a quiet day and night after all, although I received some birthday greetings through SMS. Someone asked what would be my birthday wishes. I replied that there are no more wishes.

I would want to thank a friend who texted me at far with more than ten of thousands miles away. I also appreciated a friend who bought me a cake. I felt warm when some friends called me although I did not have chance to response.

There is at least a call I could never receive.

There is at least a call I could be receiving.

There is at least a call

So what would leave for wishes without this call.

Day 147 after the event : Finding Angel

Voice of KM Chong Friday, January 30, 2009 comments (0)

It was the Chinese Spring Festival again or commonly known as Chinese New Year. It marked the arrival of the year of Ox. I started of the Ox year with another greatest shock of all.

The new year break did not seem to be a different days of all. Normally, the break also meant "resting and sleeping" occasions for me. I usually try to "hide" from the crowd of the new year break. It was the same for this year with only different of I was inside my room.

So, I pray to GOD for granting me an angel, who will be my real guardian. or may be my angel is looking from above with tears...

"It's easier to believe
In this sweet madness
Oh this glorious sadness
That brings me to my knees
In the arms of the angel
Fly away from here"

In the arms of the angel, fly away from here..

Day 131 after the event

Voice of KM Chong Wednesday, January 14, 2009 comments (0)

With a recommendation of a friend, I had brought the elder to a music school, accessing if he would be interested to have some times to be invested to musical learning. He was indeed nervous as this was the first session of an introduction. I could see him excited but really nervous.

I believed because of the influence of the passionate music tutor, he committed to start learning. I never learn music but I believed with the elder involvement, I would need to pick up some so as to accompany him as a continuous inspiring factor.

I also remembered you once commented wanted to have them to learn music and I hope you will be with the elder whenever he has his practise.

Day 129 after the event

Voice of KM Chong Monday, January 12, 2009 comments (1)

On last Friday night, at entering the house, my phone rang. Apparently it was a call to invite me for a drink at a local bar. HOUZ as the name of the bar. I said ok as I had nothing to do at home. And so I drove to the bar. On the way, there was a police road block and in my heart I said there was nothing wrong with my car and myself.

Nevertheless, the police blocked me and informed me I indeed had an expired roadtax. WTF? I forgot the car insurance and road tax expired on 1/1/2009 and I had been driving it without any coverage of insurance! This was really the first absent minded event for myself! How could I really forgot such simple task, i.e. to renew the road tax and insurance.

On this night also, I marked my birthday to the calendar of the iphone so as to remind my birthday. I also started to list down all the important day of event of myself and family. After all, I am the only only to remind myself now.

Day 123 after the event

Voice of KM Chong Tuesday, January 6, 2009 comments (1)

I had a minor car accident and I believed you knew the reason. I will need to beg your pardon on this. There was nothing wrong except I got too emotional. Only the car suffered but not me.

The start of new year does not seem to have any changes to me yet. I had some ambitions set and will push forward for them.

I also would like to have a full medical check after the Chinese New Year, perhaps sometimes in February. I will pray for nothing mentally or physically wrong as well.

Day 118 after the event

Voice of KM Chong Thursday, January 1, 2009 comments (0)

Today is the new start of the year 2009. I had not been sleeping well on the eve of the new year. It was not due to any reason, but I was indeed disturbed by some matters which played in my heart and mind.

The eve also marked the last day of myself on this sorrow year. I wish I will be able to have face-off to begin the new year. I still remember the event and you. But instead, I would want this to be as an episode of my life which I will never forget but remain as my sweetest memory to have met you and married you. I remember!

The eve, I also "thick-skin" enough to have a "free" dinner on a frined of mine, with whose son 's birthday on the new year. I was also drunk some wine so it may help me to have some better sleep at night of the eve. Nevertheless, the wine never did the task. I was not going out anywhere on the eve after the dinner but to strict home and rest on bed. I could hear the fireworks even from my room and it marked the arrival of the new year. Will I be able to start the new year with a new hope? I do not know!

Haven't been able to sleep for the night, I woke up to have the morning walk for half an hour but having the iphone with Kenny-G together. After the walk, I would require to be at the phone booth as today also marked the opening day for the phone booth in a local mall. There were plentiful of people and the mall was kind of a busy haven, but my heart was not really on the phone business today eventhought it was a really important day for the business. I felt something missing and this really bother me.

I did not visit you today on this new year. Would you angry with me? But I believed you will understand as I had mentioned to you. Dear, do you?

Day 111 after the event

Voice of KM Chong Thursday, December 25, 2008 comments (0)

I was awakened by a phone call and somehow it was a call which worth to be awaken.

There was nothing special on this Christmas. It was merely another day of rest. Nevertheless, I am thankful for the thought of friends for an afternoon tea times for a short gathering for "blowing water" (cantonese: which mean nonsense talks)

Day 110 after the event

Voice of KM Chong Wednesday, December 24, 2008 comments (0)

Today is the eve of the 2008 Christmas. The kids are with grand parents for some form of gathering holiday celebration. They always enjoy the party or gathering.

I, however did not have plan of any outing on this eve. I just wish to be at home quietly doing some of my personaly stuffs. Sometimes the best times did not need to be grand and with noisy function. I do not know if I am really growing elder as I started avoiding noisy venue.

Tonight, I will have the CD player turn on with Kenny G saxyphone music as accompany.

Day 107 after the event

Voice of KM Chong Sunday, December 21, 2008 comments (0)

Today is the Winter Soltis, it is an important date for most Chinese. It also symbolized the spring will be only around 1 month away. All lifes will be re-energized after 1 month when the Spring Festival arrived.

This year would mark the first Winter Soltis without you. However, I did not remembered previously how did we spend this date, but all I ever know was we were together althought no celebration or prayer session. The kids are with their grand parents as they are always overjoyed at the old hut. And so I granted two nights of "vacations" to them while I were at Ipoh.

At night I tried some of the first of my life... 1) walking without objective at the mall 2) finished reading a book in 15 minutes 3) bought two music CD and listened to them. The feeling was strange but I am getting adapted to it soon.

As a matter of fact, I burst into tears again at 2am when hearing some songs. But I could soon regain the control but I promised myself that I would not forget you. Earlier, I had a thought. I decided that whenever I buy a new car, the first drive, I will be with you. I will drive the car with you. The seat will be for you at the first drive.

Day 100 after the event

Voice of KM Chong Sunday, December 14, 2008 comments (1)

Today marked the actual 100 days of your departure.

Today also the 11th anniversary of our wedding. 14 December

Today I had changed the plant at the front gate. I had decided to abandon the bamboo.

Today I had added another four flowers pots to the garden

Today I had relocated the acquarium to the car porch

Day 97 after the event

Voice of KM Chong Thursday, December 11, 2008 comments (0)

The kids are back home and the house is again filled with their laughters and cheers. Without you car, the car porch became abnormaly spacious with only a car. The new year is soon approaching and another 20 days it would year 2009 and the eve of 2008, we were at the "Padang Ipoh Besar" awaiting for the fireworks (although it was actually held at Green Town Field) but we were having some fun of walking on the field with the fireworks far away with two of the kids.

I believed this year, I will again to the the field with the two kids and withness the arrival of new year. Pls join us, dear.

Day 93 after the event

Voice of KM Chong Sunday, December 7, 2008 comments (0)

Today marked the 100-day memorial for you (althought I calculated it was only 93 days). There wasn't any big and fancy arrangement but a simple prayer session. I did not find the 100-day any different to me as I always believed you are with me as I carried your spirit. I knew and understood what would be you want to do even if you were to be with us.

You would like the kids to be in good health, study good, behave well, grow up and settle down with own family. I will carry out these duty. I will. Please do not worry. It would be similar as what I had mentioned to you and you heard it right. "I will take good care of them. With me around, you do not need to worry of the kids. Even if I were not to be around, I would have the arrangement for them" They are our princes.

Today I also made an important decision. I decided to sell off the car you had been driving. I hope you will agree to it. If you do not, please signal me and I will know.

Dear, do you remember the plant that I have at the front of the gate. It is a type of "bird of paradise" and it has not been having flowers ever since it last blossom after it was brought to the house. It is now showing up a sight of flower. It is a good sight and I hope you will see and it will symbolize you are on heaven peacefully forever. I really believed you are. Dear, I love you.

Day 92 after the event

Voice of KM Chong Saturday, December 6, 2008 comments (0)

Today was identified as the eve of the 100-days of your departure. In tradition, 100-days meant a significant cycle turnover. I do not know what it will be specifically. I would instead wanted to know how do you do now.

Soo King, how are you? I want you to know that everyone of us still remember you and we are doing good. Please do not worry us and we will promise to take good care of ourselves. I still miss you and you are still the only one who can influence me to cry...

Will you see me tonight?

Day 88 after the event

Voice of KM Chong Tuesday, December 2, 2008 comments (0)

Tonight the moon was "smiling". I could see it smiled. Are you there wishing me to follow you to smile like before. I could still recall your smiling faces. I could still draw how you were grinning in front of me.
I will try to smile and I knew you wanted me to smile.
Just that when will I see you smile again?

Day 86 after the event

Voice of KM Chong Sunday, November 30, 2008 comments (1)

Today I went to KL along with two others. The trip was meant for phone shop setup. In between of acquiring the phones and accessories, I still manage to locate some favourites for the kids. They were the Ben10 figures. I believed the kids would overjoy when they saw these on their table.

It was a fruitful trip as I learned quite a bit on the operation of the phone business.

Day 85 after the event

Voice of KM Chong Friday, November 28, 2008 comments (0)

Tonight I have the two kids back to their nanny's home. I was alone at the house and I was avoiding thinking about the moment with you, with the TV turn on showing the HK movies so I could divert my attention.

I walked to the third room which stored most of the souvenirs. I knew why I walked to this room. I was looking for a pairs of souvenirs I gave to you perhaps 8 years ago. They were the pair of "Hello Kitty" in marriage suites. I remembered I had these purchased on my way to Kulim in the lunch time. You had kept these till today and indeed you had kept all the gifts I had to you.

Day 84 after the event

Voice of KM Chong Thursday, November 27, 2008 comments (0)

Today was another non-productive day for me as for the whole week. I did not seem to be in interests of performing. My mind was basically restless and could not concentrate. The days were filled with tasks and I could have been busy resolving those tasks, but I just not at all think of them. But to lag on.

The household chores had not been followed up well too. I had not been sweeping the floor since Monday. I had not water the plants since last week and I could see some have started to turn into yellowish. And one of the plant you left me had "died" but I did not know the reason as I had been watering it and put it to shelter ever since I notice it was drying up. You like this plant as it always has red/orange "fruits". I felt kind of sad when it finally left me too. It is a sight of my ignorant recently. Dear, please forgive me.

I will re-invest my time in all these household chores and gardening.

Day 82 after the event

Voice of KM Chong Tuesday, November 25, 2008 comments (0)

The economy is getting worse and bad news come once after another. Respective parties have been fighting with reinvestment/rescue plans, incentives, contigency measures etc. Job cutting seems to be an unavoidable measure soon by most company.

But you do not need to worry as I will ensure the kids still have the right education allocations, amble of petty cash for daily needs etc. However, I will indifinitely cut down their expenses in toys. I will convince them not to spend more on their monthly allowence but to save up for future usage. Rest assure that no matter how tough the life challenge is going to be, I will stay with them and offer the best to them as my promise to you.

Day 79 after the event

Voice of KM Chong Saturday, November 22, 2008 comments (0)

The little one has brought home a bear that he used to carry all the times. It was indeed a replacement bear of his favourite which lost at Jusco at a night outing. He was crying sadly after the lost. You had indeed immediately tried to locate back the same bear for him. You had first bought the Mr. Bean's bear to him but he was never like the idea of a replacement bear. At a night shopping, we had indeed located a rather similar appearance bear for him. It was close to it but not quite. Since then, he never like the idea of carrying a bear... A lost is a lost. It can never find a replacement no matter what.

Day 77 after the event

Voice of KM Chong Thursday, November 20, 2008 comments (0)

Today the little one passed me a packet of cookies. There were the cookies made by him at the nursery. He shared me the cookies making process and he was eager to show me his success. At this moment, I thought if you were around, you will be grinning happily. I believed you will know he indeed has grown up a lot!

Btw, I had forgetten to show how he was queuing up at the nursery. He is always obedient and active. You always like to watching him running.

Day 76 after the event

Voice of KM Chong comments (1)

It has been quite some times since I last blogging... I do not forget. Last night, I had a strange dream. A really strange dream...

The night was cold and I believed it was drizzling outside, just like the day you left. I felt cold even inside the blanket.I am always could not sleep soundly and I believed I was half aslept. I "saw" myself in the dream. I saw myself looking to something. It was a hologram-like protrait at front of me. The hologram was your face. I was trying to touch you and trying to see clearer at the hologrom. The hologram had no color but only black and white. It really protraited as you... I tried to "look" to the hologram and to myself at the dream, but I could not really make up the clarity. A while later, all vanished and I awaked..

Was it really a dream?

In another occasion, some of my friends asked why I would want to blog and write down these but rather to keep personal to myself. I did not answer. The reason why I blog and continue to blog about Soo King and me is that these were the only memory that we both remembered and there will be no second person who will be able to chat with me on every single details of the events which we had gone through. Not even my sons or another others will be able to know the reason of why I cried just by looking at at piece of paper with writing etc. Before I lost all memory pieces by pieces due to age, I would want all of these to be recorded forever. These will be my companion when I awaiting my times later. It is this reason that I will blog and continue blog about our past and my venture of life later.

Day 68 after the event

Voice of KM Chong Wednesday, November 12, 2008 comments (1)

Today I went to the little one nursery for his second term progress assessment and feedback. I was not planning to attend to it as I felt that there should not be issues for the little one as he is smiling, playing and jumping all the while. At 11am, I decided to turn up for meeting the little one class teacher. To my shock, I was informed that the little one cried at the nursery for losing his mother... All these while, he has not been crying for the loss nor talking about the incident. I did not realize that there is already an impact to him that I did not notice. I was also informed that the little started ignoring the direction from teachers and doing badly on his works. These were in total contrast difference before the incident. The teaher also informed that the little one sometimes would be quiet at a corner and had his head buried in his arms with sadly faces. The teachers believed that he missed his mother...
I failed. I had failed for not noticing his character change. I did not aware that the little one has felt the loss but not mention to me. I believed they had seen me crying for their mother and these had shocked them seeing me crying. I was not sensitive. I failed...

Day 67 after the event

Voice of KM Chong comments (0)

At night I drove to the University Teknologi Petronas for a phone delivery to a student. This was an unplanned delivery. But the delivery reminded me of an event... It was almost the same period of times where I drove to UTP with you accompany at night to collect the IPHONE.

The journey to UTP again filled with the memory of you. Both travels were about the same time, same clock at night. The only different was... I did not have you beside me but the kids are..

It was just like yesterday and I did not realize that it was already a year since we last travel in couple for phone..

You always accompanied me.. taiping, auto city, rawang, utp anywhere and you always with me.

Tonight, I hope you are beside me as well as the seat is virtually empty. Dear, you are with me, right?

Day 66 after the event

Voice of KM Chong Sunday, November 9, 2008 comments (0)

We began the Sunday with the little one "swimming" bath with the bath tub filled with his favourite toys. He always spend at least 10 minutes for this type of "swimming" bath daily nowaday while I would take this short duration for simple clean up task. The elder one would not joint him as he would always wanted to have the times spend on NDS or PSP. (P/S: I hope the images of the little one here would not be considered as child-pornograph or I would remove them)

We then had our breakfast at the old town area. I always enjoy the noodles here with its special gravy. It was Sunday and the restaurant or even the streets were filled with cars and walking folks. I also showed the kids once the famous "second-wife" street. It was still special as there were clothes hanging across the building for sun drying with bamboo stick. I do not think I could see such practise anymore in a small city here.. I am wondering are there still second wife staying around here or just remain the name only... God knows!

After the breakfast, the kids wanted to have some shopping and so we dropped by to Parkson. Before we had the shopping, we also dropped by to the school for a special kids events. It was a nice event! At parkson, although it was still early at 11am but I would need to park the car at 4th floor and need to park far away from the entrance. What a Sunday! Everyone come up for shopping?? The only place that the kids want to spend time was the book store. I did not know if they could really read and understand but I always glad to have them browsing books.

We reached home at 2pm and the kids already exhausted and now sleeping soundly.. They are my cute princes!

(p/s: photo were taken with low quality iphone camera)

GMobile

Voice of KM Chong Saturday, November 8, 2008 comments (0)

Today in the initial design stage of the logo. It will be named GMobile or Green Mobile...Whether it will take shape as planned still require a lot of sweats and brain. Dear, you are with me, right!

Day 65 after the event

Voice of KM Chong comments (0)

I had stopped blogging for a while the entire week as I would like to test myself. I am testing myself if I could stay away while not thinking about you. Apparently, my thinking and emotional still easily be influenced. I am still feeling lost. And it is weird that I only cried at day time while not the night. I managed to get myself controlled as only cried while I was driving alone during the lunch...

Today I brought the kids to visit you. The kids were complaining that I did not bring them to see you as I dropped down the frequency to once a week. But I know you are with us all the while. I attached here the kids latest photo while they were having their breakfast today. Btw, the elder told me that he ranked as fifth in the class for the entire year. What do you think, dear?

Day 60 after the event

Voice of KM Chong Monday, November 3, 2008 comments (0)

Today I decided to purchase back another set of Apple Iphone. I do not choose the Iphone 3G or later version of first generation Iphone with 16G, but the very first limited edition of 4G... Reason being it is cheaper...No, this was not the reason. I could definitely afford for the 16G Iphone 3G but I do not want to have it.

The iphone reminded me of your accompany with me to collect the pricey Iphone at USM Tronoh site. We drove through quite a long distance although it was really a short distance trip as we used the Batu Gajah way instead of the Jelapang way. We drove through the mining area, the construction site and it was dark with no street light. We were driving with your little Spark car and by the time we reached USM, it was almost an hour later. We collected the Iphone and this was also the phone that you could remember whenever you see the same type. You always the one who accompanied me..

I treasured the iphone for one month plus before I shuffled it(longest duration of phone on my hand) but I still have all the contents kept in my PC. Most importantly, it contained the photo of you. It was shown whenever you called me. You were in red shirt and co-incidently whenever I had a new trial phone and wanted to take you a photo, you would be in the same shirt. I always teased you for this.. I could always get another Iphone, but not with you any more. This will be forever as memory..

Ben 10 and Wilson

Voice of KM Chong Sunday, November 2, 2008 comments (0)

The little one is now 90% recovered from the illness but has significantly slimmed down. It would be always obvious for him as his chappy face would disappear whenever he is ill. I brought him for the morning grocery shopping today and he would run around freely as usual. This marked he is doing fine. The elder one dressed in his favourite Ben 10 clothes and this always made the little one jealous. He repeatedly complaining that he would need one as well. I had promised him and will definitely need to find time to shop for his size.

Day 59 after the event

Voice of KM Chong comments (0)

I had been not blogging for the past 4 days as I was virtually and physically exhausted and I still not being fit enought for daily tasks yet. I did not visit the physician as I always used to self diagnose myself. I knew myself was kind of heat up internally and so I needed to release the heat with drinking a lot of "cool drink" according to chinese way of medication. I also believed part of the reason the little one being infected could be due to my own illness. I could have the carrier of illness... My apology, my little one!

Today I re-shuffled the living hall to make way for a more space. I always wanted the living hall to be simple and spacious. I hope you will like the way I had re-arranged. It looked pretty spacious now. Tell me what do you think, ok?

The aquarium also infected as all the fishes were killed. It had not been once but more than three times. I did not know what could be wrong but could be the location was not suitable for keeping the fishes. I would need to observe again. Nevertheless, the ponds at the car porch are filled with new lifes as there are plenty of little guppies now. These would mark the first time I could have little guppies. I also discovered that there are little shrimps as well. All of these could not survive inside the house but outside. I do not know why!

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