It was 2.30am while I was still awaked with both kids at side. I had no particular intention to stay late but just to try to get myself tired so I could sleep on the night of Saturday. I felt hungry and so decided to prepare instant noodles although I had tried to stay away from such type of food for the past three weeks. I went downstair and while I was cooking, I remembered I cooked you the same meal on the week before you were admitted. I also had a fried egg for you and this was the last meal I prepared for you. We chatted for a while especially on the idea of changing job and how to strengthen our financial status... You did not finish the meal but I found you were satisfied to go upstair while I cleaned up.
I am normally quite focus and stubborn while also decisive in our family. I will normally make changes to the family while you and the kids are adapting for the changes. I do not change with your suggestion although I will slowly make way for it. I am bad temper and do not allow challenge! But since then, I started to change.. my life style changed; my food changed; my emotion changed; I tried to mimick the way you brush your teeth; I tried to cook the way you prepare the food; I tried to think in the way you would be for the kids; I realized without you around, I will need to change to live on while I do not want to change to leave you out. I will not and you will be here inside my heart.
At morning, I brought the kids to the Taiping zoo as I had promised them earlier. It would be just a short trip and I remembered that we had this venue visited sometimes last year while you complained of the heat of the sun.. The kids were overjoyed with seeing animals. Wilson, however changed as he became frigthened with riding on the train except within my hug. He need some accompany. It was a nice trip although I was a bit sleepy. At evening, we went down to Kampar to parent and parent-in law house for some chats. The kids were again overjoyed with this arrangement. I believed we will have this nice gathering again. However, although kids enjoyed the session, I was indeed felt alone without you although I tried to disguised with smiles. Dear, I missed you still!
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