In loving memory of my beloved wife

After sending the kids to nursery, I drove to locate the neccessaries items for the third 7days of yours. (it would be on 9/23/2008 although I did not understand why as no matter how I calculated tomorrow only your day 19 after which you departed!) The first item I was trying to locate was one of the cakes which always means for praying purpose. However, I had a great difficulty locating these as I did not know normally where would be the seller of these type of cakes. I drove to a few spots of morning market but could spot no sight of them. In my mind, I would always believe that if you were around, you would know where to get them without wasting times and efforts to look around. Finally, I needed to call up a local to find these cakes. At last, I found them in the Bercham market. Next those "burning utensils" could be easily located. I grabbed all of them and drove back to office and the clock already at 10am. I browsed through all the office emails but still could not really focus while my mood was bad. I did not know why but I believed I found myself cumbersome and losing self confidence. I went to see you before the lunch break started and I hope to re-gain some peaces in my mind so I could focus for the 2nd half of the day. Amazingly, a 15-minutes of quiet sitting beside you really had calmed my mind and made me feel much comfortable. I believed I am in need with some one to talk to sharing my feels and thoughts... but I wanted nobody except you! At night, the little one was telling me that he saw you in his dream..I did not know if I could believe what he said but I did really wish you at least have some times to me, please! But in the midnight, I woke up around 3am realizing I have a mission to be accomplished, i.e. to bring up your lovely kids. I will, my dear, I will. This is what I had promised you. I will remember and I will. They will be my princes!

I could not really get back to sleep after 3am. I was virtually waiting the dawn to break so I could pack and visit you at 8am. I called your parents of this third-7day event and they arrived at 7.15am while I was still preparing the kids. Normally, if you know your parents were arriving, you would be always stay at the hall to make sure you would open up the auto gate before they even ring the door bell. I heard the door bell and so I realized you were not here anymore but I would need to "represent" you. Knowing this, I asked WeiYang to open up the auto gate while I get ready all the servings to the car. I brought the laptop together with the servings to the cementery as I wish you could read the blogs and most importantly I wanted to have the song to be played on this event. This was the song I sang to you on the night of our wedding. You would remember this. I am sure you will. I wish you could hear this again. I had encoded the song together with our life journey. It would remain forever on our memories. I cried when the song was playing. This was extremely painful as the song had to be played with me being alive alone now while you could not be at my side to withness and accompany me... I still in denial mode now!

I went to the related department to declare your properties.. and in the process, it induced another great pain to me... I did not know how to answer this... The person in charge (could have been forgotten that I was indeed filing up for you, who are my wife) asked me for an emergency contact. He said everyone must have emergency contact like wife... Only I realized again that I could not have you as my emergency contact. I choked on replies hearing this but I could really located nobody as my emergency contact. I held the tears! I am wondering why I need to be repeatedly reminded that I do not have you, who are my wife at my sides. Why!

(Now and forever, there will be no worry; The story is simple but with you accompany along, it is already the best part of it)

(The happy legend with you and me as a couple is well sufficient for all)

Why it only left me to walk the legend alone!! Why it must be me to walk on the legend alone. Do you know I need you beside me to walk on this legend. Please let me know that you are beside me and we walk on this legend. Soo King, will you!